Riding the Ups and Downs
How to create more emotional stability in your life!
Trigger warning: This article discusses topics related to suicide, which may be distressing for some readers. If you or someone you know is struggling with thoughts of self-harm or suicide, please seek help from a mental health professional or contact a crisis hotline immediately. Reader discretion is advised.
So I just finished reading an article about a young sports player who had passed away. Given the suicide and depression helplines at the bottom, it’s safe to assume the cause of death.
As someone who has worked in this space to make changes at both policy and community levels, and who has also been indirectly affected by friends and family members who have committed suicide, it’s always tough seeing such news. Knowing that it’s sports player (which are highly sought-after roles for many young people) reminds me that despite success, we all experience some type of struggle in our lives.
Recently, I saw a video from YKTR owner, Issac John discussing his struggles as a professional sports player and now business owner. He spoke about identity and how not to attach yourself to what you do. What he greatly expressed is that you don’t have to just be in a well-paid or well-known profession to attach yourself to what you do. I have personally struggled with this and have seen first hand how riding the ups and downs have affected my life.
Brad Stulberg is an author I’ve been following, and he talks about this concept of having multiple identities that we can subscribe to. Essentially, if we look at ourselves, we do not have a single identity. We can actually have many sides to us and quite often live through them at different times of our life, even daily. Given the changes our identities go through, being able to shift to different ones when needed can be life changing.
So I thought I would quickly share how I have been able to create more emotionally stability in my life, from someone that has struggled with their identity.
They are:
1. Identify your identities
Each person has many identities shaped by different roles and aspects of their life. These can include being a parent, friend, career, sports fan, or any other role you embody.
For Example:
Professional: You are a business owner.
Personal: You are a loving partner and parent.
Social: You are an active community volunteer.
Recreational: You are a passionate gamer.
To help identify your identities, make a list of the different roles you play in your life. Reflect on how each of these roles contributes to your sense of self.
2. Recognise the downturns
Firstly, downturns are natural and they can affect specific identities more than others. By recognising when one identity is facing a challenge, you can prepare to lean on your other identities.
For instance, as a business owner, you may face a stressful client or be unsure about your next contract. Recognise the emotional toll this takes and acknowledge the impact it has on your overall well-being.
To be better prepared for downturns, monitor your emotional and mental state regularly. Identify signs of stress or dissatisfaction in any of your roles. Journaling or writing in your notes what these signs are, can be a helpful.
3. Make the shift
When one identity is experiencing a downturn, shift your focus to another identity that provides fulfilment or at least allows yourself to settle. This shift can offer a sense of balance and prevent you from feeling overwhelmed.
As an example, if your professional life is causing stress, shift your focus to your personal role if your a parent. Spend quality time with your children, which can provide joy and a sense of accomplishment.
When you recognise a downturn, consciously decide and commit to investing your time and energy into another identity. This could involve scheduling activities, reaching out to others, or immersing yourself in other interests. At the core, it is commiting to the shift as it can be easier (yet more painful) not making any adjustments.
By identifying your multiple identities, recognising when one is in a downturn, and making intentional shifts, you can find greater emotional stability in your life. This could be easier said then done, so if you to decide to try, be patient with yourself.
Whether you subscribe to this concept or not, it’s apparent that we all go through ups and downs in our lives. For some of us, we have the ability to recognise these swings and can make changes. I’ve come to learn through the work I did that not everyone can, due to their own neurological challenges. So I don’t want this to seem like I’m offering a cure or answer for depression.
However, for those who can and want to make changes, acknowledging your multifaceted self and recognising the identities you hold can go a long way to staying joyful as you ride this rollercoaster that we call life.
Thanks for reading! If you’re wanting help, I have 1 way I can assist you:
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