Keep The Fire Alive
With modern living, the freedom to decide what we do with our time can seem more of a dream than a reality. With the demands of work, relationships, and societal pressures, there are many factors that can dictate how your time is allocated. Something that has taken me a while to fully understand about myself is that all I want to do are the things that make me feel alive. For me, earning a living is not one of them.
Now, I get that we live in a time where money makes the world go round, but I'd rather earn less to ensure that I can continue doing the things that make me feel alive, which I relate to the fire that burns inside us. Throughout my upbringing, I've witnessed many individuals around me lose their inner fire. Whether that was from their own choices or external pressures, it's honestly heartbreaking to look into someone's eyes and know that the fire inside them has gone. One thing about the fire is that it's very hard to reignite. It takes a lot of self-discovery, which I've seen people regain, but the success rate is very small.
I've been fortunate because my desire for solving problems aligns perfectly with the essential elements of growing a business and assets. This synergy not only generates income but also affords me the time to pursue my interests. Yet, whenever I found myself at a crossroads, where my actions no longer aligned with my intended path, it felt as though there were only two choices available. The options being:
A) Earn more, or enough, by engaging in work I dislike, just to afford a lifestyle that brings enough joy to sustain the cycle, as my internal fire gradually fades, or
B) Earn enough but less, compromising my immediate lifestyle while keeping the inner flame alive.
I've always chosen option B due to what I shared previously about the difficulty of reigniting that inner fire. With the advancement of technology, earning enough while keeping the fire alive seems more attainable. It does depend on what direction you set but mainly the perspective you hold. Your perspective can make something seem like a constraint or a desired activity. For instance, playing with my children could feel like a constraint or a chosen action, depending on my perspective at the time.
This brings me to an idea that I want to share, which I've coined "Personal Autonomy." Your Personal Autonomy is essentially the space between your time capacity i.e. the 24 hours that we all have each day, and your time constraints. It's the time that is decided by you, not imposed by external commitments, obligations, and restrictions. Now, we all have different situations, so to increase your Personal Autonomy is similar to losing weight; your results and the time to achieve results will differ. However, the possibility for more of us to experience a life that is fulfilling and decided by ourselves is something I want for me and want to help others gain as well.
So, I thought what might be useful is to share how someone could increase their Personal Autonomy. There are at least two levers, and they are:
1) Decreasing your constraints
Decreasing constraints can significantly increase your Personal Autonomy. This begins with mastering the art of saying no, which is setting clear boundaries around your time. This allows you to focus on what truly matters, which can be difficult when your boundaries are not clear. If you're employed, negotiating for flexibility can also give you more control over how you spend your time. It’s essential to regularly evaluate your commitments, prioritising them based on their significance to you and their alignment with your direction. The process of prioritisation helps us identify and eliminate actions that take away our autonomy.
2) Gaining clarity on your direction
I know that what keeps the fire burning inside oneself is doing activities and actions that are aligned with the direction you've set for yourself. This means not every activity you do will be enjoyable, but you know there is a greater reason for doing so. To gain clarity on your direction is to do a personal strategy session. There are many ways to strategise, but I believe it can be as simple as identifying your vision, the mission you want to undertake, the purpose of your journey, and the values you aim to uphold. Your direction creates the foundations for you to make decisions.
Of course, pursuing greater autonomy isn’t without its challenges. Resistance from those who depend on us, feelings of guilt for prioritising our needs, and finding the right balance between choice and responsibility are common hurdles. Overcoming these requires patience, persistence, and clear communication about your needs and boundaries.
As we navigate the complexities of modern life, claiming more autonomy over our time is increasingly important, especially with a world that is rapidly evolving. By decreasing constraints and gaining clarity on your direction, you can expand your Personal Autonomy, leading to a life that is not only more fulfilling but also true to our deepest selves. It’s a journey I'm embarking on, and hoping to share my learnings for anyone who desire this for themselves and for the people around them; as a better you can create a better world.
So, to end, I would like to openly ask: You have 24 hours each day, how much of your time is decided by you?
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